The time has come. I am finally a parent at Christmas. Now I have to answer the ever important question: how much stuff should I buy my child for Christmas?
When I was growing up, we always had lots of presents, but they were mostly small--socks, pajamas, etc. We would get a couple medium presents, and maybe one big one. We never got the kinds of things I see my students getting now: Ipods, PSPs, etc. My parents found a way to make the holidays special on a budget, without spoiling us.
One thing my mom really focused on was talking about the wanting. Wanting is what makes life exciting, what motivates me to work hard and to behave. Anticipation and desire are among the most important and fun feelings around. When I was little, I actually felt sad in my heart for the spoiled rich kids who had nothing left to want because they were given everything they could ask for. I was so grateful to be regular, in a family on a budget.
As a parent, I want to recreate the values my parents instilled in me. However, I also have the American Desire tendencies--I want my child to have everything I never had. My first instinct is to buy everything I see. So far, I have gotten a keyboard, a basketball, 3 pajama outfits, 4 onsies, a foam floor mat puzzle, and a stuffed pony. I also plan to get him some socks and shoes. Now, most of these things are items he needs, or that I want him to have. Plus, he's too young to understand what all he gets. But I worry about setting a precedent.
I have heard from other families that they have a system for gift giving. For example, they might give three gifts per child, because that is how many Baby Jesus got. I like that idea, but I am not sure I am ready to let go of the vision of a Christmas tree surrounded by mounds and mounds of presents.
Ideas? Suggestions?
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- Cruelty-Free Mommy
- I am a mother who is suddenly finding that she knows it all and MUST SHARE WITH OTHERS! I have two sons (one born 1.07 and one due 4.09), a husband, a sweet doggie and a fiesty cat. Most of my days are spent with my family, reading, going for walks, visiting free local places, and watching movies. In my spare time, I teach high school English. I am a lutheran pacifist vegetarian who tries very hard to influence others without being a pushy jerk.
2 comments:
T and I are struggling with the same thing, except it's Travis's semi-buddhist we-don't-need-anything tendencies combined with the fact that our house is very small and already PACKED with toys. We spend very little, but I go nuts at garage sale season, and therefore Taran has way too much. Travis also has friends with older kids from work who keep giving us their big toys--like a toy toolbench, a wagon, and toddler bed--so that at Christmas, there's literally no space for more toys!
I'm actually going to go through things and get rid of those toys he doesn't play with that I got at sales (if you're interested, let me know) just to make room. This year we can't spend much, so the gifts from us are either garage sale toys, books, or a blanket I made him. Then there's the problem of grandparents...
T and I decided next year to tell our respective parents to cut their spending in half. They spend $100 on Taran, and that's just ridiculous. And there are many more years of presents to come, birthdays too... and the toys keep getting bigger and bigger.... and the walls of this house are closing in...
You could always ask your parents to give money for his college fund, if they really want to give him things. The interest he can earn in the next 14 years before he is really working on getting ready for college will make a big difference. Then, there wouldn't be as much stuff to contend with.
I totally see your point. Our house is also on the small side. We have some toys that we just don't have room for. There was a cool crawly-tunnel thing I saw post-Thanksgiving shopping, and I knew Fox would love it, but I didn't get it because I couldn't imagine it fitting in his room. So, as he grows and gets more things (and as we have more kids) this will be an increasing problem for us.
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