If a doctor saw someone get hit by a car, would you expect her to go help the victim? Me too. And so, as a teacher, I scold kids, even if they aren't my students. It's my duty.
If we want our children to be happy, safe, well-rounded people, adults must be supportive of and responsible to/for all young ones. But sometimes I wonder if I am going too far. I take charge of kids over whom I have no dominion. And I think it is going to get me in trouble someday.
The first time someone pointed this habit out to me was at a youth basketball tournement. It was in Sauk Centre, two hours away from where I live and work. A couple young, unsupervised kids were throwing a bouncy ball against a window. Of course, I asked them to stop and put the ball away, because they could break the window. It seemed like the normal reaction. If a kids was doing that at my school, I would have reacted that way. But PV acted like I was a crazy person.
The second time this happened was in our neighborhood. PV and I were walking with our baby when he was a few months old. Some boys (brothers, I think, around 8 and 10) walked past us. PV said hi, which offended them (we are strangers, after all). But after we had walked past, I noticed rocks flying in our general direction. I turned around and scolded the boys, telling them they needed to go home NOW. As we walked away, PV again acted like I was a crazy person. I still say I did the right thing.
Then yesterday, I saw two boys (maybe around 5th grade) beating up a chubby boy with glasses near my school (not our students). I broke it up and proceded to yell at the two boys. Seriously, I was scary. Those of you who know me would not have recognized me. I feel strongly that I did the right thing, and I don't think anyone would argue against me--there was a kid getting beat up, after all! But I can imagine some parents being upset. Who I am to intervene? Who am I to yell at their kids? If the boys had said, "You're not the boss of us! We don't have to listen to you!" what could I have said? But still.
I plan to continue doing what I think is right, even if I don't have jurisdiction, because that is what people should do. But I am fully expecting to get an earful one of these days.
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- Cruelty-Free Mommy
- I am a mother who is suddenly finding that she knows it all and MUST SHARE WITH OTHERS! I have two sons (one born 1.07 and one due 4.09), a husband, a sweet doggie and a fiesty cat. Most of my days are spent with my family, reading, going for walks, visiting free local places, and watching movies. In my spare time, I teach high school English. I am a lutheran pacifist vegetarian who tries very hard to influence others without being a pushy jerk.
2 comments:
I think you are perfectly within your rights as a human being to yell at anyone who throws rocks at you. And I think that as an adult, it is your responsibility to stop kids from beating up another kid, and I don't think anyone would or should question your actions there.
I do the same thing by scolding (or talking sternly, let's say) to young kids who are behaving poorly in public--but being a parent of a toddler, I am mindful of whether or not the parent is watching, and whether or not they would want me to intervene. If their child is going to hurt themselves, or someone else (like my child), then I never hesitate to say something. I figure I'd want someone else to do the same if it were my kid. But if some kid is just being rude, like butting in front of my slow walker on the slide, I let it go--it's not my job to teach them manners, no matter how much I'd like to.
Missed seeing you tonight. Hope everyone feels better soon!
You are correct in your actions and I applaud you. In fact, there is a substantial body of research to support your talking sternly to other people's kids. Just google "collective efficacy" or find the old Atlantic Monthly article by james Q. Wilson and George Kelling entitled "Broken Windows."
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