I don't think many parents have an issue with small children having a lovey. A book I am reading suggests introducing one at nap and bed times to help your baby feel comforted, especially once the baby starts a new schedule (like day care). My son begins daycare Tuesday, so this week we adopted Stripey:
My baby seems to love Stripey, and now he doesn't make a peep when we lay him down to go to sleep, even when he seems energetic. I feel confident that he will handle the transition to daycare well, because he will have a familiar-looking and -smelling companion.
Loveys have an important job of comforting kids. The issue, then, is how long should a child keep a lovey? I know many parents are uncomfortable with a child clinging to a blanket or animal over a certain age, maybe 3 or 4. To these people, I ask why? What's the problem with a kid having an item that comforts him or her?
I suppose for some kids, an extreme attachment to a lovey may interfere with their lives (especially socially). Some parents deal with this by chucking the lovey. I have known parents who threw it out while the kid was at school. What could be more traumatic that coming home and finding out the people you trust and love the most deceived you by destroying the item you trust and love the most? If my parents had done this, I don't think I would have been able to forgive them and trust them again. Instead of throwing loveys away, wouldn't it be better to set up rules of when the child is allowed to hold it? It could be locked up except at bedtime, for example. It seems there must be some way to make it work.
The job of a lovey is to be familiar and make the child feel safe. It reminds the kid of home and family. When going through periods of change (growth, divorce, new siblings, moving, going to school or daycare, losing a pet, etc), the lovey remains a consistent reminder to the child that there are some things that will always be the same, some 'friends' that will always love him or her. Who doesn't need that kind of reminder on a daily basis? I know I still do. So, as a grown up mommy, I admit I still love my Banky and sleep with him every night. You may think I'm weird, but I know I'm not the only one. And he still does his job.
3 comments:
I brought the Teddy bear I was given at birth to college with me. At that point I was being outwardly ironic as a part of my bit. My reaction to the popular punk style among my friends.
But really, why wouldn't I bring it with me. One shouldn't dispose of a faithful partner so easily.
Anyway...
My sons both have Banky's too. We will let them pick out the new baby's Blanky for her. Philip, at 5, is going to kindergarten on Tues. I'm gonna let him take the blanky. Why shouldn't I? It's a source of comfort, familiar to him in an unfamiliar setting.
Plus, when traveling, what's more important than a functioning bedroll?
I had, actually also still have, a teddy bear. I never named him but I do know that I didn't get him until I was 2 from my great grandparents. I also had a blanket but I'm not sure what happened to it when my family moved when I was in 5th grade.
Micah has 2, a blanket and a duck. It's funny that you post this because I've been trying to decide if I should send one if not both of them with him on Tues. when he goes to daycare for the first time!!! He needs to bring a blanket for nap time but in the handbook it says to bring a blanket that can be left there and that they shouldn't bring toys & things for home unles the teacher asks. But I feel that he's going to need these things to help him take his nap.
Yeah, our daycare said the same thing, basically, but that we should only bring a lovey for naps if needed. That was when I realized Fox didn't have one yet. Phil, I agree Bankys help on vacation. Once on a road trip, I brought Banky into a restaurant and forgot him there. My parents had to backtrack to retreive him. They were not happy.
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