Materialism and Toys

This is a guest post by Pacifist Viking

You don't want to raise kids to be materialistic; you want kids to grow up knowing there are more important things than possessions.

But as little kids, they need toys. Toys are a necessary part of their development. The toys help them engage with the world. It is with toys that they learn how the world responds to them, and they practice and develop the use of their hands and their eyes and everything else. A baby playing with a toy is learning and reaching out into the world.

So there are all these toys that serve a functional, utilitarian, practical, developmental purpose. But then as we age, we don't need the toys to develop, and the materialism can become a hindrance in many ways (consumer debt is, after all, out of control in this country, and today I heard a sermon about "treasures in heaven" and "treasures on earth").

Oh, don't worry: I'm no secular monk who is going to forbid my child from playing with toys. I played with beloved toys very late into life (as in, I still collect football cards and Star Wars toys), and our son will play with lots and lots of toys.

But Cruelty-Free Mommy and I have done a fairly good job balancing our wants from our needs. We are very responsible with our money, because we know what we can and cannot afford, and what we do and do not need.

And for me, at least, that's a lesson I received from my parents. My parents have provided me with many toys and fun things throughout life (and obviously a lot more support, too). And still, they taught me to save money, to balance "choices and consequences," to be responsible and reasonable, and to know wants from needs. Furthermore, while I do have materialistic desire for things like football cards, this hasn't in any significant way hindered any spiritual yearnings and searchings on my part; I live with the recognition that I will die, and that material possessions mean little to nothing in the big picture.

So as far as I can see, there doesn't have to be a conflict. You can provide children with toys, while still teaching kids to be responsible and reasonable, and still teaching kids that there are bigger spiritual, emotional, and mental needs than possessions can fulfill. It doesn't seem to me that mistakes come from having the toys themselves, but perhaps in how we treat the toys. But providing kids with lots and lots of toys does not in itself make them materialistic people, just like violent entertainment does not in itself make them violent people. If parents do a good job at the more important things (like providing constant love, support, teaching, and time), these other things don't tend to harm.